“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~Mary Engelbreit
I thought that I should begin at the beginning, so to speak. My unhappiness with my weight is nothing new, but that doesn’t mean that nothing has changed. I have changed. A lot. Over several years.
It wouldn’t surprise me if every woman can remember a time in her life that someone called her fat, and how hurt and unhappy she was with that. The first time I can remember was when I was 10. I still remember the boy in my class who said it, too. As a child and teen, I was not very active, and was heavier than most of my peers. Looking back, I don’t think I had a serious weight problem, but through most of high school I wavered on the edge of my healthy BMI- sometimes “healthy” sometimes “overweight”
May 2005- 178lbs
Getting married and having children young didn’t help that, since I never really had a chance to learn to cook and change myself before my body started changing for me. Not knowing how to cook meant a lot of eating out- and a lot of unnecessary weight gain. I gained 50 lbs with my first pregnancy, lost about 25, and then gained 50+ lbs with my second. My journey to really change my life started then, although slowly.
Six weeks after having my daughter, I weighed in at 178 lbs- heavier than I was my entire pregnancy with my first child. I realized at that point that I needed to do something. Unfortunately, I wasn’t really sure what “something” was. I Started cooking more at home, but I wasn’t watching calories or portion sizes as closely as I needed to. I also started working out. Well, kind of. I bought a pilates DVD that I would do once or twice a week- and a few times a week I would load the kids into the double stroller and take a short walk around the neighborhood.
September 2006- 160lbs
This lasted about a year-and-a-half. In September of 2006, my husband was gearing up for a deployment, and we decided to have family portraits made. I was thrilled about this, thinking I was going to look sooooo much better than I did in the portraits that were done after my daughter was born. But when we got the proofs back, I wanted to cry. I hated the way I looked in every. single. one. I stepped on the scale that day and realized that I was still 160lbs. It had taken me almost 18 months to lose just 18 lbs!
At that time I committed to learning everything I could about eating right and exercising, and I used the time my husband was away to really change myself. I discovered calorie counting, started exercising at the base gym, bought more DVD’s to do at home and actually started to use them, and even experimented a little with weight training. In the four months that my husband was gone, I lost 30 lbs and felt fantastic!
January 2007- 130lbs
130lbs was a lower weight than I was at when I graduated high school, and I became very comfortable with my new look. I got a little too comfortable, though. The strict diet and exercise routine I started when I was alone was hard to maintain when my husband came home. Slowly over the course of that year the weight started creeping up again. I didn’t really notice it at first.
I would skip a workout (or two, or three) one week, or make one or two “quick” dinners (quick= unhealthy, ready made meals) each week. Little by little I started to slip until it was a rare did that I did find time to exercise, and our dinners were more and more often convenient instead of healthy.
December 2007- 150lbs
I’m a very visual person, and it took another family portrait session for me to realize just how far I had let myself go again. We had pictures done in December, 2007 and I was having a lot of trouble fitting into the clothes I had picked out for the session. I weighed myself that afternoon and realized that my clothes didn’t fit because I had gained back 20lbs!
This realization came before a big move for our family, and I decided to recommit myself to a healthier life when we got to our new home. I went back to my “old” healthy habits, and made a lot of changes as well. I started incorporating a lot more fresh fruits and veggies into our family meals, and changed my workouts. I dabbled with running (doing the Couch 2 5K program), gave yoga a try, and started doing more strength training. The biggest change though, was discovering how much I loved being active and healthy.
June 2008- 125 lbs
I lost 25lbs when we were living there, and also made the decision to pursue a career in fitness. We moved again in November 2008 (back home to MS) and I got a job working in a local gym. I also gained about 15 lbs, but I wasn’t too worried about it. It didn’t take me long to lose 5 of that, and I wasn’t worried about the other 10.
At 135 lbs, I was more active and a lot healthier than I had ever been in my life. I was working out 5-6 times a week, eating right, and absolutely thrilled with the changes I could notice in my body- and my life.
In April of 2009 I became a certified personal trainer. I felt that I was finally in a position to do what I really wanted with my life.
February 2010- 135 lbs
We moved (again!) in July 0f 2009 (please Lord, let that be the last move!!) and I was fairly comfortable with my weight and lifestyle. I was working in a gym still and personal training as well. I made an effort almost every day to be active and eat right, and I got my kids involved as well. I started running again, and in February 2010 ran my first 5K race- I was definitely bitten by the running bug!
At that point, I was pretty confident that I had changed my life for good. I stayed in what I considered a fairly comfortable maintenance range with my weight. 135 was higher than I wanted to be, but I felt strong and confident and I didn’t worry too much about it.
June 2010- 145 lbs
The problem, as always, is that I had gotten too comfortable. I stopped racing in May, and pretty much stopped working out altogether, due to a lot of work and personal stress. I became so busy with work and the kids during the summer that I wasn’t making time for what I knew I needed to do. And, slowly but surely, I fell back into my old eating habits.
Which brings me to where I am now. I saw some pictures taken at the end of June getting ready to go out with friends one night, and realized that my few weeks of eating junk and not working out had played a definite tole on my body. I am back up to 145 lbs, and determined to stop that in it’s track before it gets any worse! It’s only been a few weeks, and I know that I can put a halt to this.
I don’t like the way I look, or the way I feel. And I know that there is only one thing to do if you don’t like something.
Change it.
Posted by mommyinmotion 
